It’s that magical time of the year again, and 23andMe’s new ancestry feature has helped me share with my dear, unassuming Midwest family what I get them every year: politically antagonistic, erudite scientific trivia! (The coolest thing about genetics is that leftist don’t believe race exists and rightists don’t believe evolution exists, so if you’re into genetics, you can antagonize your family in the heartland and your friends on the coasts! Science sure is fun.)

Screenshot:

My ancestry is half soviet satellite Valu-Pak  (Gzrezhzak, Alesnik), half dixie British. (Yates, Davis) I myself was born in Missouri and was raised in Ohio. From a tiny sampling of my DNA extracted from my spit: DOES RACE EXIST, AND IS IT BIOLOGICALLY DETERMINABLE?

Success. Of course, when I say “race,” I mean “ethnicity” or “ancestry” since race is an antiquated term unfortunately associated with too many non-scientific connotations.

Oh, also, Rubenstein says: “buy 23andMe.” Merry Christmas!